You know what?
There’s a whole lot of misinformation on leading with empathy in the classroom, which is why it’s easy to feel defeated when you’re doing everything “right” and still not getting results.
Before I learned how to build strong teacher-student relationships through empathy, I tried every guide and article I could find.
Expert #1 would say to maintain strict discipline at all times and expert #2 would say to avoid getting too personal with students.
Many teachers think that showing empathy means being weak because you’re letting your guard down.
Others believe that being empathetic will reduce classroom discipline, making it harder to maintain control.
I learned that leading with empathy actually strengthens your authority in the classroom and supports effective guidance and discipline.
You absolutely should NOT think empathy makes you weak!
When I was struggling to connect with a particularly challenging class, I tried maintaining a strict, no-nonsense approach. I believed that was the only way to keep control.
But no matter how hard I tried, the students remained disengaged and disruptive. I felt frustrated and exhausted, constantly battling to maintain order without any real connections with my students.
No matter what I did, I still couldn’t connect with my students the way I wanted.
One day, after yet another difficult lesson, I decided to try something different. I began incorporating small acts of empathy into my teaching.
I took the time to listen to my students, understand their perspectives, and address their emotional needs.
Once I finally started embracing empathy as a strength and incorporated it into my classroom management, everything changed.
The students became more responsive, and the classroom atmosphere improved significantly. It wasn’t an overnight transformation, but gradually, I saw the power of leading with empathy.
You can do it too!
Read on for some sneaky limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from leading with empathy, and how to turn them into your superpowers.
Limiting Belief #1: Empathy Equals Weakness
If you believe that showing empathy will make you appear weak or less authoritative, you’re not alone. Many teachers fear that students will take advantage of them if they are too understanding or compassionate.
Empathy does not mean weakness; it means understanding and connection.
When you lead with empathy, you build trust and rapport with your students. This strong foundation allows you to address issues more effectively and create a positive learning environment.
How to turn it into your superpower
First, challenge your belief. After all, it’s just a belief and you have no proof that it’s reality (spoiler: it’s NOT!)
Ask yourself why you think empathy equates to weakness. Is it because you fear losing control? Do you think students will respect you less?
Once you have the answers, think about what it would be like to do the opposite. What if showing empathy actually made you more respected and connected with your students? Would it make your classroom more supportive and effective?
You don’t have to take action now. Just let it sit with you and try to broaden your perspective. Keep challenging yourself.
When you’re ready, try integrating empathy into your teaching. Here are a few resources available:
- The Perfect Relational Teaching Mix for Building Inclusive Classrooms
- How to Lead with Empathy (Edutopia)
- Educator’s Guide to Culturally Responsive Teaching
Limiting Belief #2 – Empathy Reduces Discipline
“I’ll lose control of my classroom if I’m too empathetic.”
Sound familiar?
Many teachers think that showing empathy will undermine their ability to maintain discipline. This belief comes from the fear that students will see empathy as a sign of leniency.
Do you really need to be super strict before you tackle building relationships? Or is it that the real reason for this belief is the fear of losing authority and not being taken seriously by your students?
It’s common to avoid things we’re not “ready” for.
But you know what?
Empathy and discipline are not mutually exclusive.
Leading with empathy helps you understand the root causes of behavioral issues and address them more effectively. This approach can lead to more meaningful and lasting behavior changes.
How to turn it into your superpower
First, understand that empathy and discipline are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they can complement each other beautifully.
- Restorative Practices: Implement restorative justice techniques to address conflicts. This approach focuses on repairing harm and restoring relationships rather than simply punishing students.
- Clear Expectations: Combine empathy with clear expectations and consistent consequences. Show students that you care about their well-being and their adherence to classroom rules.
Imagine a classroom where students feel understood and respected. They are more likely to follow rules and engage positively because they know you care about them. So leverage that empathy to your advantage!
Limiting Belief #3: Leading with Empathy is Time Consuming
How many times have you thought about incorporating more empathy into your teaching, only to immediately think, “Nah, I don’t have the time for that. My schedule is already packed”?
You’re not alone. This is another belief that comes from a place of fear, and we all have them.
When you’re about to try something new, you picture all the things that can go wrong and how it might disrupt your routine.
The problem with this belief is that it can prevent more empowering beliefs from forming if you’re not aware of them.
While it may seem like showing empathy takes time away from teaching, it actually saves time in the long run by reducing conflicts and improving student engagement.
A classroom built on empathy creates a supportive and cooperative learning environment.
How to turn it into your superpower
Think about the time you spend dealing with conflicts and disruptions. Leading with empathy can significantly reduce these issues, allowing more time for effective teaching.
You can absolutely create a more efficient and harmonious classroom environment!
Here’s a couple of steps to take:
- Integrate Empathy into Daily Routines: Start each day with a quick check-in or mindfulness activity. These small gestures can make a big difference in creating an empathetic classroom culture.
- Efficient Communication: Use empathetic communication to address issues promptly and effectively, preventing them from escalating and consuming more time later.
For example:
I once thought I couldn’t fit empathy into my packed schedule. However, I decided to start small by dedicating just a few minutes each morning to check in with my students.
This small step led to a noticeable decrease in classroom disruptions and a more positive atmosphere. Over time, it became clear that those few minutes spent on empathy were saving me hours of dealing with conflicts.
By flipping this belief, I realized that empathy doesn’t take time away; it actually gave me more time to focus on teaching effectively.
Related post: How National Teachers of the Year Create Transformative Classroom Relationships
Limiting Belief #4: Empathy Will Not Improve Academic Outcomes
If you believe you have too much work to do already, you’ll find ways to keep yourself occupied with those other activities rather than focusing on leading with empathy.
Saying you don’t have time is really saying it’s not a priority right now.
The truth is, empathetic teaching is directly linked to improved academic outcomes.
When students feel understood and supported, they are more motivated and engaged in their learning. Leading with empathy creates a positive classroom environment where students feel safe to express themselves and take risks, which is essential for deep learning and academic success.
Moreover, empathetic interactions can reduce anxiety and stress among students, leading to better focus and retention of material.
By prioritizing empathy, you are not just addressing emotional needs but also laying the groundwork for a more effective and productive learning experience.
How to turn it into a superpower
You don’t need huge blocks of time to lead with empathy. You just have to do it with consistency.
Don’t be afraid to draw a line in the sand and make it a priority, no matter what else you have going on. If you can carve out just a few minutes each day, you can transform your classroom environment and improve academic outcomes.
Here’s how to get started:
- Personalized Learning: Spend a few minutes each day understanding your students’ individual needs and backgrounds. Use this knowledge to tailor your teaching methods. This personalized approach can lead to significant improvements in academic performance because it addresses the unique learning styles and challenges of each student.
- Motivation through Connection: Invest time in building strong relationships with your students. When students feel valued and understood, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged in their learning. This increased engagement can result in better academic outcomes as students are more likely to participate actively and put in the effort needed to succeed.
- Consistent Empathy Practices: Incorporate empathy into your daily interactions and teaching practices. Start each day with a quick check-in or an activity that fosters a supportive classroom environment. Using empathetic communication to address issues promptly can prevent conflicts from escalating, thereby maintaining a focused and productive learning environment.
By consistently dedicating a small amount of time each day to empathetic practices, you can enhance student motivation, engagement, and academic success.
Remember, an empathetic approach creates a positive and inclusive classroom where students are more likely to thrive both emotionally and academically.
You’re making great progress!
It’s time to turn your limiting beliefs into superpowers! If you find yourself procrastinating on leading with empathy, think about what may be holding you back. Write down 10 limiting beliefs, and don’t be afraid to see them on paper.
We all have them, remember? It’s what you do with them that counts.
Will you push through and keep going? You bet you will!
I created a free guide to help you get started leading with empathy.
Download my free Educator’s Guide to Culturally Responsive Teaching >>
Remember, you can always reach me here. Let’s get you leading with empathy!
